how close is close enough?
by Eve Royal
Summary: What if Robin and Raven's bond went a little bit deeper, was a little bit darker, and slightly more deadly?
1. pull me out from inside

**A/N: **Okay. Before you begin reading, check out two things: (1) The shipping; and (2) the genre. Ya. It's an angsty Rob/Rae. And this is Eve Royal who once swore to never read a Rob/Rae fic. Well, things change I guess.

**Contest:** Anybody who can tell me which song every chapter title comes from will get a dedication! And the person who gets the most will get a virtual cookie! And a hug from Beast Boy ('cause there's no way Robin will hug any of you. I'm sorry).

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any titles or any characer. Teen Titans is not, and never will be mine. Title comes from "Make Damn Sure" by Taking Back Sunday.

* * *

**how close is close enough?**

_you slip your hands inside my pockets_

_tell me nothing else would do_

_without me, you can't live and_

_you slip your heart inside my chest_

_they both become one of the strongest pairs_

_when strangers come_

_and darling_

_this thing that breaks my heart and_

_darling_

_you break my heart each time you-_

"And Darling" - Tegan and Sara

**

* * *

**

**pull me out from inside**

Slade's back. Taunting him, mocking him, luring him in deeper, and deeper – a cat and mouse chase going around in circles until the trap is sprung and the game is over.

But Robin's not surprised; he's always known that Slade would return. His ending has always been too anticlimactic for Robin, for the battle between Robin and Slade could never end by Terra's hand. No. The villain had to return to finish it properly. Both parties demand closure.

And Robin is determined to end this for the last time. He will win, and with his triumph, escape from Slade's ghost.

**. . . . .**

He says that Slade is back; insists upon this disturbing statement. But Raven isn't as confident as her leader. She has facts trying to add up in her brain, but the sum never agrees with Robin's. It doesn't make sense.

She knows Robin. She knows how obsessed he can get, _has_ gotten over Slade. There's a regular pattern of over-reaction and loss of mental sanity.

She also knows how fragile he actually is. They've all gotten glimpses of it, no matter how he masks it, but she _knows_, knows without a doubt. Slade can break him. And this terrifies her.

**. . . . .**

Rest: the result they hoped for.

Turmoil: the result they have received.

Even now, as heavily sedated as he is, his heart races (like he was running a marathon), his breath is shallow (like he's fighting a nightmare), and his limbs spasm sporadically-

(like he's struggling to escape).

And they don't know what to do. For there is no Slade (they all agree here), yet their leader, fearless and rational to the point of insanity, has no doubts that there is.

So they wait, praying that when he awakens he will be well again.

(They all know he won't be.)

**. . . . .**

He is running, running fastfast_fast _with no real destination to guide him. He only knows he has to get away, away from this madman and his evil device-

(he cannot endure any more)

so he runs and crawls and limps; it doesn't matter how he moves so long as he _is_ moving, moving away from _him_, away from them.

They don't believe him. Just because they can't see the monster doesn't mean _he isn't there. He _can cloak himself-

(but somehow he can see through it)

He isn't crazy! _He's_ there. He knows it. And Robin has to get away.

**. . . . .**

He is missing, lost among the hidden passages of their Tower while they are locked in a room, unable to help.

Raven can hear Starfire's anger, feel the anxiety radiating from Cyborg, sense Beast Boy's fear. She is running through all the options she has, the many different ways she can help. They are dwindling, disappearing as the need for action grows. She is finding herself with the most severe choice, the one she knows Robin will hate the most

She must enter his mind and see things as he sees them. It's time to find Robin and save him.

**. . . . .**

She releases her soul and it travels, searching for a home, a warm heart. It finds a frantic heartbeat and a chaotic mind. When her soul presses softly against the barriers of his mind they fall and she is allowed in. His mind opens to her, one door at a time.

Further and further she goes, past the Tower's basement, through a hidden cavern, forced to watch a sacred vow and the free fall of a pair of shadows; and through it all is his voice begging her to run to safety. But it's too late; they are tied together.

**. . . . .**

She's here; and he finds himself relaxing, his pulse slowing. Her voice is calm, emotionless, and to his fried nerves this is the perfect balm.

She wants to see what he sees. She wants to show him the truth.

And she bring such peace that he lets her inch into the forefront of his mind. He closes his eyes and when he re-opens them, he feels her. It's as if she is a part of him. For a moment, he believes her. Maybe there is no Slade.

Then _he_ appears, punching them, and Raven and her steadying presence is lost.

**. . . . .**

His heartbeat is now an echo of hers. It drums within her mind and she focuses on it, knowing it will connect her to Robin. She needs to watch him, needs to protect him, needs to save him-

But from what? From a man Robin only imagines is there? From a ghost?

But her jaw is still smarting from the blow that Slade landed on them, and she can still feel his adrenaline gushing through his lean, exhausted body, and she can sense his spirit failing. It doesn't matter what's real or not; Robin is falling. And they cannot help.

**. . . . .**

They say he isn't real. That Slade isn't there. But he can feel him, see him, hear him...

And he is terrified. Terrified beyond all belief.

Because if they are right then that means that Robin is insane; that he has lost a hold of himself; that he has lost control; that Slade has won.

But even as he lies on the floor, gasping for life, he watches as the lights blink on and off and Slade flicker in and out of existence. Maybe they are right. Maybe he is wrong. And maybe they are strong enough to save him.

**. . . . .**

It's over. Robin's safe. Everything's fine.

She repeats this over and over, trying to calm herself. But nothing's working, and she can feel anxiety threatening to overtake her. She has to control this, she has to-

The lights clap on and her head snaps over to where Robin's standing in the doorway. He shifts awkwardly, avoiding her gaze. "I... I don't think he's gone yet. I'm... I'm hearing voices..." he mumbles.

She feels fear grip her heart. This is the make-or-break moment. "Robin. I don't think that's Slade."

She hopes he'll find it in himself to forgive her.

**- To Be Continued -**


	2. keep you with me in my heart

**keep you with me in my heart**

He's getting angry.

The others have noticed it, stepping away from him when he marches past them. He can feel the scowl on his face, the fire burning behind his mask, and knows he is projecting potential violence with every step.

However, the truth is he is terrified.

He doesn't know who he is anymore. When he closes his eyes, _she_ is there: a constant presence he cannot escape. He isn't sure which thoughts are his and what feelings are hers or if his secrets are even his own.

Worst of all: there is no where for him to hide.

**. . . . .**

She is hurt.

He is beginning to hate her, hate this tie between them, a fear she has held even before she entered his mind. She understands his anger, for privacy is a basic necessity for Robin and she has stolen it. She has taken his armor.

Needing peace for herself, she hides in her room and levitates, concentrating on the silence safe within her. Slowly, his presence fades, his voice quiets, and his emotions dim until she is herself, with no part being shared.

When she opens her eyes, he is staring at her with hope in his heart.

**. . . . .**

It takes a long time, mostly because Robin is too busy to meditate as much as is necessary and Raven doesn't have any desire to meditate at two in the morning. Slowly, though, they begin to separate their subconscious's. They manage to categorize their minds: Raven letting Robin occupy a single room while Robin keeps her safe in a corner. Their emotions and thoughts are still transferred without warning, but at least they have no chance of losing themselves to this bond.

Slowly, Robin's anger dims and Raven's hurt lessens, and before long, the team has regained their precarious balance.

**. . . . .**

"You know," Robin says at the end of a meditation session, "I think we're gonna be okay."

She stands, brushing her cape away from her legs. "Wonderful. I was losing sleep over it," she drawls, but is secretly thrilled he is happy again.

A smile slowly spreads across his face. "I thought you might be," he says, not rising to the bait. "I'm glad that makes you happy," he adds after a pause.

Embarrassment blossoms in her chest, but she doesn't show it. "Happiness is overrated."

He smirks. "Only 'cause you're so embarrassed."

**. . . . .**

The first time it happens, they are battling Control Freak. Robin is going after the giant poster of the new Bogey-Man, Control Freak has revived.

Suddenly, his mind is filled with: _Robin, duck!_

It is so loud and all-encompassing that he obeys, dropping down into a roll. A second later a car lands crashing onto the spot he was standing on moments ago. Because of the battle still underway, he decides to put his questions aside until after.

When he questions Raven about it, she stares at him. "About time you listened to someone besides yourself," she snarks back.

**. . . . .**

Because he is Robin, the leader of the Teen Titans, he decides that they should practice this new telepathy for battles. She indulges him for a few days until she can no longer handle the stress.

_Shut up_, she commands; then shuts the door to the room where she hides him

There is silence for a few days, with the exceptional stray thought or overwhelming emotion he can't control. Even aloud, he doesn't speak to her directly. Then, five days later she hears: _I'm sorry_. Its honesty fills her mind.

She doesn't look at him. _You don't have to yell._

**. . . . .**

"That apron suits you, Robin."

"Shut up, Raven."

"I didn't think you'd actually wear it without Starfire's insistence."

"She'll wake up any minute; I don't want to make her upset."

"Methinks the leader doth protest too much."

"Quoting Shakespeare now? Aren't you in a mood?"

"Are you threatening me with that spatula?"

"I don't need it. I can beat you up with my hands."

"I can cripple your mind from my seat."

"I can hide your tea."

"...Fine. You win."

"Good. Now shut up and eat your pancakes."

**. . . . .**

He waits until she's alone before leaping over the back of the couch and settling next to her. She eyes him before looking back at her book.

"What?"

He grins. "You find Beast Boy funny."

Her face floods with colour and the blender in the kitchen explodes. "Do not," she denies.

Robin snorts. "I can feel your emotions, Raven. And you just destroyed my blender."

"So?"

He laughs. "So Beast Boy amuses you. It's not a crime."

"He's an idiot."

"That you find funny." He's gone before her magic can reach him.

**. . . . .**

He is whistling again. He doesn't do it very often, just when the day is his favourite type and everything is doing just what it's supposed to. Today's tune is bright, matching the mood of the day. She turns to him and asks, "What song is that?"

He pauses for a horrible second. "I don't remember," he mumbles, frowning to himself.

She closes her eyes and slips through his memories, digging until she finds a match. It's a song his mother sang when he was young.

He's frozen for a long moment before haltingly beginning to whistle again.

**. . . . .**

He wakes up in the middle of the night and silently makes his way to the kitchen. He takes out a pair of mugs and turns the kettle on to boil before searching the cupboard. He pulls out the hot chocolate mix and soon has twin cups of hot chocolate sitting on the kitchen counter.

Another person steps into the kitchen, her steps soft against the floor. She looks at the cups, then up at him. He shrugs, grinning, and pats the seat beside him. She rolls her eyes, but accepts his offering, too lonely to go back to bed.

**- To Be Continued -**


	3. if you hadn't found me

**if you hadn't found me, i would have found you**

She just wants this day to be over. Nothing good can come out of this day, nothing at all, and no one can understand. Not even Robin.

She can feel him humming beneath her heartbeat, concern lingering and overlapping his contentedness. He can feel her anxiety, but she has given him no explanation for it and so he worries, coming up with worst-case scenarios and trying to plan battle schematics that will never work. He cannot fight fate. But that idea that he is willing to try is the balm that gets her through the long hours of her birthday.

**. . . . .**

"You've been inside my mind; let me in yours."

She knows what he's asking. He doesn't want to see a parade of Ravens, each merely a mangled reflection. He wants her heart, the fine thread that stitches her life pieces together.

He doesn't know what he's asking.

He knows what she's thinking, that he has no idea what he's saying. But he does. He knows that her mind will be just as twisted as his, but he doesn't care. He feels, hears, _sees_ her in his every moment; how different could this be?

He just wants to help her.

**. . . . .**

Time stops.

The world is frozen, trapped in a photograph she has created from fierce desperation instead of the typical mortal inspiration. For the sake of her life, she has stopped time.

But she knows Slade is still out there waiting, knows that her magic cannot touch him. She knows she cannot do this alone.

And that is why she pulls Robin away from her fear-induced spell. It is not because she worries that the gear will crush him before he can escape. No. She thaws him because she knows he has the ability to save her.

He always has.

**. . . . .**

She is glowing with twisted symbols that claw their way up her arms and her face is morphing into an expression of fear of the supernatural.

She doesn't trust him with her secret, blinding herself to the fact that he can see the obvious. She's forgotten that he's been trained by the world's greatest detective and the clues are adding up. Maybe she can sense him fitting the pieces together because she flees, disappearing into the ceiling.

He watches and wonders how bad things must be for her to feel that he would leave her in her moment of need.

**. . . . .**

She's hovering in that space between clarity and dreams, and as the sun slowly warms her body she tries to deduce what today is. As the days cross themselves out, she remembers.

She sits up, fear suffocating her, and she stares at the markings on her arms, trailing designs on her pale skin. "No," she breaths, wishing that she had one more day...

But that would be too good to be true.

In the training room, Robin suddenly feels her sorrow spike through him and he falters, letting the punching bag swung around and knock him to the ground.

**. . . . .**

He has known something was wrong from the beginning – long before the smell of burnt pancakes reached his nose. Her emotions are calm, as if she's purposely hiding herself from him. He wonders, but is afraid to ask, afraid to know.

Instead he stays silent, watching her throughout the day. It is only when the sky darkens dramatically that Raven's emotions bubble to the surface and she flinches, wavering back and forth like a puppet being pulled by its strings.

And when her violet eyes well up and overflow with tears, he feels the first signs of hopelessness creep in.

**. . . . .**

His city is destroyed. His people are stone. His friends are missing. His heart is hollow.

He walks the streets, littered in ash and nothingness, and searches for life. But there is nothing. He is alone in his failure and there is no more Raven. He can't even sense her state of simple being. It's as if she never existed.

He moves on, climbing higher and higher, hoping for a better view, hoping that he might see something he's missed. But it's all the same gray, gray, gray, with only his memories to tell him that this picture is wrong.

**. . . . .**

She is so small. So young and innocent; and she stares at him with wide, hopeful eyes as if he holds the key to salvation.

And his heart breaks for her.

If it wasn't for this bond, he thinks she would still be running from him. But she remembers now and places all her faith in his scarred, human hands. She trusts him in a way she hasn't for several weeks; and it's such a relief, such a sign that everything's going to turn out okay that he finds the strength to be what she needs and lead her home.

**. . . . .**

Robin won't get up. Neither will anybody else, but she shouldn't be surprised. They have all dared to go against the most powerful demon in the universe; how could they expect victory? But they did expect it and they have given their all to ensure it. The only one let standing is her, and she is the only one who should have dared.

Somewhere deep inside her confidence grows and an anger directed at her father for causing all this ruin beings to build. Her friends have always believed in her; maybe it's time to show them they were right.

**. . . . .**

It is the day after Trigon's defeat and Robin awakens with a tremor in his heart. He dresses quickly, wondering where this fear came from, and why it started so early.

He finds her on the roof, staring out at a brand new sunrise, the first dawn of her freed life. A touch on the shoulder encourages her to turn and face him.

"He's really gone." And though it is phrased as a statement, he knows it's a question. "Now what?" she finishes.

It is with those words that he realizes she needs him now more than ever.

**- To Be Continued -**


	4. the sun before the burn

**A/N: **Thank you all! Things are beginning to change now...

**Dedication:** Star of Airdrie. Because you're trying; man, are you trying!

* * *

**the sun before the burn**

She watches him as he flips through the channels, a bored expression painting his face. She watches him, but her mind is months away, remembering a time when she was terrified, but too proud to admit it. She remembers him, and what he understood before she herself did; and with that memory comes a parade of others, each just as significant as the first.

"You always saw me," she murmurs, her voice barely audible.

But he is Robin and so he hears what others do not. "Someone had to," he says simply, his eyes never leaving the screen.

**. . . . .**

He's working on a pile of reports when the tide turns, when the contentment ebbs away and the deep-set disappointment washes in. In his mind's eye, he sees her close her book and sigh, one hand resting on the cover. He scribbles his signature, then pushes himself away from his desk.

When he knocks on her door, she opens it with a bland expression. Her greeting is interrupted when she sees the box of books he's holding.

"Batman's spring-cleaning," he says with a shrug; and though she doesn't smile, he can feel her wave of happiness pass through him.

**. . . . .**

The fire is low, but it gives off enough light to flicker on the sleeping forms of the Doom Patrol and the Teen Titans alike. Only two souls are awake, and they huddle together, staring at the orange flames burning off slowly.

_I don't like him_, one thinks, glancing at the form of the leader of the Doom Patrol.

_Only because you two are so alike_, the other responds.

_I'm not that bad._ There's a pause. _Am I?_

She rests her head on his shoulder. "No," she breaths. She can feel his relieved smile spread over his young face.

**. . . . .**

He is fighting with the coffeemaker, his emotions punctuated with colourful curses threatening to escape his lips. She sits at the counter, watching him, and softly wills him to make her a cup of tea. She is not surprised when he growls but obliges, taking out her favourite mug.

"Great job, Boy Blunder," she intones.

His head snaps over to her, every inch of him glaring at her. "Are you here to scold or help?" he barks.

"Both," she says before proceeding to explain how he should apologize to their favourite alien and heal their twin aches.

**. . . . .**

There's a list of names on his desk, name after name of potential Titans. Teenagers that don't even know he's considering enlisting them.

Enlisting them. Like this is a war.

But it is, really, and he needs an army to take down the enemy. The others all agree and are packing now, getting ready to leave so they can find these newcomers.

But there's still some doubt lingering. What if he can't handle this? What if this is the wrong way to go? What if-

"You ready?" she asks from his doorway.

"Yeah." He thinks it's the truth.

**. . . . .**

Robin picks her up from the monastery and she is forced to ride the R-Cycle to their next destination.

"What?" he asks before they leave. "You're not saying goodbye?"

"No," she responds blandly. "I'll be glad to get away from them."

He nods. "Figured. You're not much of a people person."

This stings, because sometimes she watches him interact with the others and wishes she could be like that. Sometimes she is irrationally envious of him and his words aren't helping.

"It's a nice change," he adds, revving the engine. And the darkness disperses.

**. . . . .**

He's filing between missions. It's a boring process, but necessary (which somehow makes it even more boring). And though he may hate to admit it, the truth is that without filing, the Teen Titans would drown in paperwork and die.

He'd just like a bit of help occasionally.

His door suddenly slides open and Raven is there, the hints of displeasure on her face. "I could hear you complain from my room," she says, walking over to him. She sits in the chair next to his, frowning slightly. "If I help you, will you stop?"

He nods, grinning.

**. . . . .**

The war is over. The fight is won. The Titans, all of them, have curled themselves up in the West Tower, filling up the halls of guest rooms he didn't even know they had. As leader, he feels responsible, and is standing watch, leaning over the kitchen counter with thoughts heavy and flying around his head.

"Hey," she greets softly, emerging from the shadows.

He glances over and smiles slightly. "Hey. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Your thoughts are keeping me awake," she informs him. "Everything okay?"

He looks down at his hands. "They will be."

**. . . . .**

The guilt creeps up on her, heavy around her shoulders. She doesn't understand where it's coming from until she yields to a lengthy meditation session and discovers it's not her guilt, but his.

She corners him during his training session, his shirt soaked through with sweat. "What do you have to be guilty about?" she asks.

He stammers for a minute before admitting that he blames himself for their near-lost to the Brotherhood of Evil.

"Don't give yourself so much credit," she scolds, even as she sends him the pride she feels every time she looks at him.

**. . . . .**

She hasn't found a true definition for what they have yet. It is more than a friendship, closer to a love, but not quite romantic in a sense. It has a taste of sibling affection, with a lovers' intimacy. It is deeper than simple like, but too easy for true romance. In fact, it is a mix of all the types of caring in the world, trapped within two hearts that are terrified of exposing honest emotion.

He calls it a bond. She thinks that that's oversimplifying things quite a bit, but supposes that, for the moment, it will suffice.

**- To Be Continued -**


	5. bareboned and crazy for you

**A/N: **Thank you for all the reviews! Star of Airdrie - keep it up! You're doing great!

'Kay. Things are a'changing. If anyone has any objections, please let me know. Remember, we're not supposed to have all the dirty details.

* * *

**bare-boned and crazy for you**

Summer returns and with it trips to the pizza place. They gather together in a group, chatting loudly and crowing over their latest victory. Even Raven is in a good mood, her happiness buzzing through Robin's veins.

He's chuckling when he glances over at Raven. She's smiling very lightly, with a splash of sauce on her cheek.

She notices him. "What?"

He reaches over and rubs it off with his thumb. "That's better," he mumbles fondly, then chances a look at her eyes. When their eyes meet, he feels an old warmth sweep through him and he ducks his head.

**. . . . .**

They are dressing for the Mayor's Annual Gala, and he has lingered to wait for Raven. She finally appears, and looks so graceful and lovely that he feels the rush of hormones and desire that comes from living with two attractive females. But she looks so uncertain and his nerves are buzzing from her anxiety that affection and concern take over.

"You need a date, Raven?" he asks casually.

She eyes him. "Won't Starfire be upset?" she asked, her eyes conflicted.

"She'll understand," he assures her, offering his arm. She takes it and when she sighs, the stress fades away.

**. . . . .**

Next month takes them to Tokyo to follow the trail of a mysterious Tower-bomber. They defeat the corrupted police force and become international heroes once again. At the award ceremony, Raven feels Robin's awkwardness and suspects that it comes from the fact that just the other day he was locked in jail.

"Hey," she says, walking over. "You did good."

He grins lightly. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She can sense his body finally relaxing. "Jail time not included."

He snorts, chancing a glance at Raven's billboard advertisement. "I'm not ruining your image, am I?"

She shrugs. "You already have." She doesn't explain.

**. . . . .**

The criminal swings, and Raven flies through the air, waiting for the harsh landing. The landing, when it comes, is soft and strong and safe. Robin has caught her.

He holds her for a brief moment, and in that moment she can feel his heart beating, feel his breath waft against her cheek, feel the tremor in his arms, feel the rush of emotions soaring through his heart, completely aware of the miniscule space between their bodies.

She mumbles her gratitude, ignoring the heat rushing through her, but grateful that it subsides when he releases her to rejoin the fight.

**. . . . .**

For some unknown reason, Bumblebee sends her the newest TEEN! Magazine, which frequently features articles on the Teen Titans. Although Raven can't explain why, she actually opens the magazine and skims the shiny pages. She ends up on a survey for the hottest Teen Titan. Aqualad has won, with Robin as a close second.

"I lost?" Robin exclaims over her shoulder.

"You would scare a lesser person," she drones, having sensed him sneak up seconds earlier.

He ignores her. "How'd Aqualad beat me?" he questions, glaring at the magazine. His pride is bruised.

"I have no idea," she answers honestly.

**. . . . .**

A pair of girls walk by her, giggling amongst themselves. When she glances up she finds warmth twisting in her gut.

Her eyes drop back to her book. "Stop that."

She feels his embarrassment override the hormones. "Sorry," Robin mutters.

"Is it the bikinis?" she asks.

"Yeah. Pretty much."

She rolls her eyes. "Typical." Even as she finds her eyes drinking in the words on her page, she can feel heat shooting through her veins. Without looking up she snaps, "Stop."

Beside her, Robin's eyes fall away from his teammate's relaxed form. With cheeks flaming red, he mutters another apology.

**. . . . .**

He's in her room, an occasion that only happens when necessity calls. He takes another step, inching closer to her bed.

"You okay?" he asks carefully. His brain is all muddled because of her, and she even less patient than usual.

She glares bleary-eyed at him. "I'm fine," she mumbles. Then sneezes.

He scoffs. "Right."

"Really," she croaks.

He sighs, unconvinced, and steps over to her bed. He stares down at her sick form, then leans to tuck her in. After a brief pause and internal conflict, he kisses her forehead gently. "Get some sleep," he orders.

She doesn't object.

**. . . . .**

He finds her staring at a necklace in her hands, and his emotions swirl and twist in a reflection of her emotional surges. He steps over to where she's sitting and asks where she got it.

"Beast Boy gave it to me," she mumbles, her confusion lightly brushing her words, only apparent because he can feel it.

He is surprised at the rush of possession and jealously that washes through him; almost as surprised at how much pleasure her words bring to herself.

Although he knows that she knows his feelings, he merely smiles and lies through his teeth. "Cool."

**. . . . .**

The sun is dancing off her hair, bringing the violet highlights to life and causing a glow to grow in her cheeks. Her eyes are closed and he can see her lips move to silent words, her meditation past the point of vocal concentration.

He's supposed to be meditating with her, but his mind is already at peace (or at least at as much peace as it's ever going to be) and it's rare that Raven is so focused that she can't sense him staring at her, soaking in her unique beauty. It's too good a chance to pass up.

**. . . . .**

They're playing chess sitting across from one another, words flowing easily between them. The game is unusually casual; the words are as well. Instead, he finds his focus on the shivering of his skin and the breath he catches every time she leans in too close.

Then, without warning, she lifts her eyes to his and he feels lust sweep through him, harsh and all-consuming. She has yet to straighten herself after moving her bishop so he leans over to press his mouth hard against hers before she slips away.

When he wakes up, his sheets and skin are soaking.

**- To Be Continued -**


	6. reaching farther than i ever have before

**A/N: **Thanx everyone! My plan is to be finished by Dec. 27th - think I can make it?

* * *

**reaching farther than i ever have before**

Change arrives in the form of Batman, requesting his ward's presence in Gotham. Robin miraculously agrees without argument.

She hangs back as he packs, allows him to say goodbye to the others, trying to drown her own emotions in rationality. However, when he comes to say goodbye to her and takes her hands in his, her control wavers.

"We'll see each other again," he promises.

She doesn't know what the future holds, if she will be strong enough to stand it; so without thought she brushes her lips against his cheek, absorbing all the courage she can from his heart.

**. . . . .**

He is surprised when things do not change. He does not mourn, not excessively. He misses them all desperately, but he can function without any trouble.

He sneaks into the kitchen one night, still suffering from insomnia. Hoping to get some sleep before the morning comes, he thoughtlessly makes himself a cup of tea. It is only when he smells the steeped water, the same tea she always drinks, that it hits him. He gasps suddenly for breath, as her memory comes to life before him. And there, deep in the night, he grieves, until he can no longer breathe.

**. . . . .**

She is twisting and turning in her sleep, searching for something she cannot find. Her dreams are dark, a labyrinth of paths she must chose from. The problem is, she doesn't know her choices and her time is running out.

When she awakens, the sun is glowing on her face, and she is filled with a need to find him. She isn't sure whether it's because she suspects he's miserable so far from home, or whether she merely wants him to solve this problem for her. Either way, it doesn't matter. The need is too strong. She will leave today.

**. . . . .**

Time passes. Some random Tuesday, he sprints down the street, rushing to an appointment. He accidentally brushes someone's arm, and the world blossoms into life. The silence pulsing in his mind shatters into a thousand words and feelings and visions.

He gasps, hears the other do the same, and turns, almost afraid of what he will find. But it is her, just her, looking just like she did the day he left. His mouth is opening wordlessly and her eyes are shining, so he surrenders and pulls her to him, holding her tightly in his arms.

He has her back.

**. . . . .**

She's afraid to let him out of her sight, terrified that all the work she went through to find him will turn out to have been in vain. So when he asks her to stay with him, she agrees. She doubts he will take no for an answer anyway.

He gets a room across the hall from his ready for her and as he makes the bed she finally forces herself to ask: "Did you miss us?"

He turns, his face flushed. "Of course!" To him, it is a stupid question.

She smiles. "Good," she whispers; and that calms him.

**. . . . .**

"Why did you kiss me?"

It escapes his mouth, words tumbling out before he can catch them and hide them behind his lips.

She pauses, her muscles tensing just enough for him to notice. "Do we really have to talk about it?"

"Yes," he says with determination.

She sighs and turns to him. "Because I wanted to remember you," she answers.

The honesty behind those words is enough to silence him. "Oh," he says. "Is that all?" he adds hesitantly. He doesn't know what possessed him to say that.

"Yes." The word is complete.

He feels disappointment begin to grow.

**. . . . .**

After a long night of scouting with the Batman, he creeps into her room to watch her sleep. He knows how wrong it is, but her dreams are pleasant, and he is tired. He doesn't wake her, just watches, letting her presence sooth him. Slowly he notices that she is like Sleeping Beauty, just as still and lovely, and he wonders if his kiss would wake her.

He destroys that thought immediately, but it is too late. It is there, haunting him every time he looks at her, filling him with want. He longs to kiss her, once, and know.

**. . . . .**

She doesn't know how they got here. A second ago he was complaining about Batman while she listened. He had paused, turned, looked at her, and then launched himself at her, kissing her with all his might. Now, his mouth is warm and hard on hers, his fingers digging into her arms. She can feel a surge of want cascade over her, so she responds, trying desperately to match his frenzy. She doesn't know where this has come from, but is silently terrified that it's been a long time coming.

It's only when several crashes sound that they break apart.

**. . . . .**

That night, in her dreams, the labyrinth appears before her, her path illuminated before her. It is dangerous and rocky, full of pits and high ledges, ending with a sharp cliff that can only end in death.

Frightened, she turns behind her to see what has brought her here; and there, just a few steps back, is the kiss that occurred just today, with all the passion and chaos she remembers. She cries, and tries to run, only to discover that there is only one way to go.

When she wakes, her cheeks are wet, but her resolve is strong.

**. . . . .**

It's time to go home.

He's standing outside, fiddling with his motorcycle, trying to fit their entire luggage in its saddlebags. The work is mindless enough to let his thoughts flow freely.

He is afraid. He's torn between wanting to pretend that kiss never happened and wanting to repeat it again and again. The rush that had swept over him, then her, had surprised him. He hadn't expected that strong a reaction.

He senses her standing behind him and he turns, takes in her blank expression and feels his heart drop. For if he is afraid, then she is numb.

**- To Be Continued -**


	7. call me a safe bet

**A/N: **Thanx guys. Enjoy!

* * *

**call me a safe bet (i'm betting i'm not)**

They have been home for a week and she still can't bear to look at him. He may be able to hide from everyone else, but she can read him easily. The kiss they shared is written all over him.

She won't think of it, even if that is all she can think about. She doesn't know who she is trying to deny either: him, herself, or the elders who warned her of this.

When she forged this bond with him, she was thinking about what would happen if she failed. Succeeding, however, seems to have cost them both more.

**. . . . .**

He's tired of her ignoring him. Nearly every time she sees him approaching, she finds some excuse to leave. It's aggravating; it's not like he's going to jump her!

What he doesn't understand is yes, okay, so he kissed her. But she kissed him back. She could have fought him or said no, and he would have backed off – but she didn't. It's not his fault her emotions got out of control and some of Batman's priceless art finds were destroyed. All she had to do was stop kissing him.

It's not like he's going to rape her or something.

**. . . . .**

In a coffeehouse in downtown Jump City, a couple is arguing in a corner. She is ice, cold and unmoving; he is fire, all brimstone and ashes.

"You can't keep running from this," he hisses.

She calmly sips her tea. "I'm not running. I'm saying we can't do this."

"Why not?" he snaps.

"We will break ourselves," she says firmly. "Everyone knows it."

He stands suddenly. "Who does? We'll never know until we try."

She looks up at him. "Rob-"

But before she can finish, he leans over and kisses her, pushing her backwards.

Her mug shatters beneath her fingers.

**. . . . .**

It was only when she fell into his arms after being bodily thrown out of a window that he saw a very real danger to their bond. The moment she touched him he was attacked by a pain so fierce, he almost fainted on site.

Now they're both lying in the infirmary, her unconscious and him fighting off the searing pain in his skull. But as her condition betters, his headache lessens until it's to the point where he can think again; and his thoughts are disturbing him. He's wondering if, had the fall killed her, he would've died too.

**. . . . .**

At the park, children are laughing, parents are chatting, the sun is shining, and they are relaxing. For a brief moment of time they can exchange emotions without fear of what they may expose. Both are at peace, so peace is all they share.

She hears him chuckle and turns her head to see. He's smiling without any shadow clouding his face and he seems to be easily content. After a moment, he turns his head and though she cannot see his, she knows they have locked eyes. In his gaze is a simple love, such that she cannot fear.

**. . . . .**

"You know," he says one afternoon when they're alone, "you kissed me first."

He's still struggling to understand how they got to this twisted point.

She rolls her eyes, hating his tenacity. "We've been through this already. It wasn't supposed to mean anything."

But it did. It did to them both. "Fine. Then why did you kiss me back?"

She's silent for a long time, and he can feel her shifting through her thoughts, trying to find the proper answer. "Because I had to," is what she settles on.

But he knows what she really meant: that she wanted to.

**. . . . .**

She dreams about him. In some dreams they are friends, chatting or playing alone or with the others. He smiles and laughs often, and she is free to express herself. They play in the sun; and when she wakes up, she knows it will be a beautiful day.

Then there are the others, the ones with heat and chaos, and where her heartbeat is a mantra of_ more, more, more_ and need fills her. She's never sure if they are expressing love, fear, or hate, but it is never gentle, never kind; and when she wakes, she feels like crying.

**. . . . .**

He is beautiful: half-naked, with skin glistening from sweat and glowing from the light, his breaths making his chest swell, and his hair so dark it almost looks blue. He radiates focus and strength; her own personal hero.

Without her consent, her feet lead her to him, and she regains control within an arm's length of him. When she calls his name, her voice nearly trembles.

He turns and looks her in the eye. He seems to catch his breath and she wonders who he sees right now.

"Don't," he croaks out; but it's too late. She can't stop herself.

**. . . . .**

The damage to the gym is extensive enough that he has to reason with an insurance company in order to fix it. Between calls, he tries to grasp what happened. He can't understand where all this destruction came from. Yes, Raven's emotions can overwhelm her, but never this much.

He's developing a theory; a theory what would explain a lot. He's suspecting that it's all this bond's fault. He knows that when he's happy, she grows happy too. Could it be that when he's turned on, she's aroused too – to the point where she is unable to control it anymore?

**. . . . .**

While the five of them are watching a movie, he decides to test out his theory. Sitting strategically next to her, he waits until they're all too occupied with the movie to notice his movements. He slips an arm around her shoulder, feels her jump of surprise, then leans over and kisses her on the cheek, sending all his affection for her to her.

The result is instantaneous: she flushes and the television screen cracks straight down the middle.

Amidst the cries of concern and irritation, he simply nods, face blank, and says, "Well, I guess that's that;" and leaves.

**- To Be Continued -**


	8. the price you pay for loss of control

**A/N:** To everyone - thank you! Obviously, I did not reach my goal; I have been crazy busy, honest! So, I shall be finishing up my drafts while on vacation (I have two days of planes) and should be able to post on my return. I once again apologize.

And I have to apologize for the cliffhanger. Oops.

* * *

**the price you pay for loss of control**

She avoids him with total determination. She doesn't understand how he could have done something like that. She is inexplicably hurt and completely confused.

But if she is avoiding him, he's avoiding the entire team, locking himself in his office. She's somehow elected to bring him out one day and wonders if this is the others' attempt at fixing what's broken.

When he opens the door, her eyes narrow even as her pulse rockets. "What was that for?" she asks evenly. She doesn't explain.

"You're right," he says. "We're destroying each other." Then he closes the door in her face.

**. . . . .**

He knows he's acting like a spoiled child, but he is beyond caring. He feels like he's just been rudely dumped for a reason he can't accept.

So he hides until one night he creeps out, looking for food. He's so intent on not thinking about her that he doesn't realize she's sitting at the counter until she's five feet away. Her head lifts and she pins him with eyes so deeply melancholy that it paralyzes him.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, and he has to harden his heart to keep it from cracking and walk away to keep from begging.

**. . . . .**

She waits for him in the doorway to the Tower's side entrance. This is where he starts his morning run; this is where he'll finish.

When he arrives he stops upon seeing her. She stares at him for a long minute waiting for him to catch his breath. "Why can't we be friends?" she asks quietly, blandly.

Half of his mask widens – an incredulous eyebrow raise. "Seriously?"

The emotions rush in then: desire, longing, guilt, shame, love, anger, fear, hurt, loss. She can barely stand from the strength of this mixture that mimics hers.

"That's why." He brushes past her.

**. . . . .**

He wakes up in the middle of the night with tears fresh on his cheeks. Even as he rationalizes why he shouldn't, _can't_ do this, he is moving. He reaches her door and keys in the override code. The door slides open and he steps in.

She is still in bed, sleeping. But the further he goes into her room, the deeper the pain is, filling him with heaviness. And surrounding him is a whisper she will never voice.

He touches her cheek, skin against skin. "I miss you too," he murmurs. Then his brain regains control and he leaves.

**. . . . .**

She's standing alone in the midst of a whirlwind, unable and unwilling to move away. She turns slowly in the same direction of the wind and chaos; she is spinning, free and safe, until something catches her eye.

It's Robin, standing on the other side of the wind, his arms reaching for her. Her reaction is instantaneous, instinctual; she runs towards him and sees him move towards her. But just before their hands can touch, the winds tear them apart; out of their control, they reach frantically for something to stop them.

She opens her eyes. "Subtle," she mutters darkly.

**. . . . .**

He's standing in the shower, cold water pouring down on his heated skin, glare directed at the tiles on the wall.

This is ridiculous. He knows it, but can't stop the dreams, the thoughts or his reactions as a direct result of them. They're all fantasies, never to happen. She's out of character in the worst ones, and deadly silent in the best.

When he sees his reflection in the mirror, it's all weary eyes and pale skin. He knows that he should be sleeping, but all his dreams are the same, haunting his very breaths, taunting him with possibilities.

**. . . . .**

They are alone in the Tower, the others gone to a concert. She enters the Common Room and spies him sitting on the couch, flicking through channels. She knows he can sense her, but he doesn't respond, even when she walks up to him and stands directly behind him. This is her last chance.

"Robin."

"What?" The channels keep switching.

"Look at me."

When he turns, slow in his reluctance, she leans down until their faces nearly touch. "One more try," she whispers.

He waits, pushing against her mind, trying to read her, then reaches up and pulls her down.

**. . . . .**

His arms are around her, molding her curves to his leanness; she follows, trying to ignore the emotions filling her with warm, simmering heat. It threatens to boil over, but she will not lose control. She doesn't want this to stop and knows that any interruption will jar them into reality. But the feelings are growing, overloading; her back hits the couch and their hips knock together; voices chanting _moremoremore_; her head feeling like it will explode-

And then he breaks off with an empty cry and she feels the pain that's overtaking him and they fall separately into oblivion.

**. . . . .**

She wakes up with a headache that threatens to push her back into the darkness of unconsciousness. She feels as if someone has drained her and then rolled her into a ditch: empty and bruised. Somehow she manages to turn her head, sensing Robin is nearby.

Something punches her in the gut. He's lying still on the bed next to her with every machine imaginable hooked up to him showing the signs of a coma.

Memories rush in, and if she felt empty before then this new emotions must be guilt, hollowing her body with blame resonating in her shell.

**. . . . .**

It takes her two hours and seven drafts to write:

_Robin._

_This cannot go on. We both know what's happening and both know why it is. It's because it's us. The very thing that makes us so easy is also making us completely impossible, threatening to destroy us both._

_It's my fault; I entered your mind and made this thing a possibility. But it's time we stopped kidding ourselves; now, before we destroy ourselves._

_I'm sorry. I wish things were different._

It takes her ten seconds to leave it by his bed, forcing herself not to touch his comatose form.

**- To Be Continued -**


	9. we can't move on and we can't stay here

**A/N: **Sorry about the wait. I should have the next chapter up by Jan. 23rd. There. Is that fair?

* * *

**we can't move on and we can't stay here**

It's dark when he wakes up. He doesn't know how long he's been asleep or even what time it is, but that isn't a pressing concern right now. Right now he's focused on the silence within him.

He can't hear her, can't feel her. It's like she's dead.

For a brief moment he panics, but when his vitals blare out a warning he forces himself to calm. Breathing deep, he searches within himself, peeling back the layers. He scours every inch of himself until he finds her, hiding in a corner he can barely reach. She flinches at his touch.

. . . . .

No, he doesn't know how long he's been out; no, he doesn't remember how he got here; no, he's not very comfortable; no, Starfire, he doesn't need new pillows; no, Cyborg, he isn't hungry.

No, Beast Boy, he doesn't know what's wrong with Raven.

They tell him they found him and Raven unconscious three days ago. He's been in a very Raven-like healing trance since then and she hasn't left her room since she woke up.

This last part is a lie. She's seen him. He has her letter as proof. He just wishes she would let him see her.

. . . . .

She can feel his concern, his confusion, his hurt and feeling these forces her to draw even further into herself. She's a coward, too afraid to explain her actions, hoping he'll let things lie. But she knows him: he's stubborn and determined and will fight until he stops breathing. And she loves that about him.

She sneaks into the kitchen one morning and starts, seeing him sitting there. He watches her calmly. "Hey."

The guilt paralyzes her, for he's acting like everything's fine. "I-I have to go," she mutters, wrapping herself in her cloak.

"I figured." But he doesn't argue.

. . . .

Raven is ignoring him, only coming out when the alarm sounds, disappearing as soon as the police have the criminal in cuffs. But he cannot hide like she can – the others will not allow it. Though he fights it, wanting to nurse his wounds in private, his team seems terrified that doing that will kill him. They cannot fight Raven, but they can drag him back into the living.

And slowly he remembers a time before this bond. Back when it was the five of them, not just him and Raven and the others. Back when the team was healthy.

. . . . .

Unbeknownst to the general public, the Tower has a library. Its works rivals that of the University two cities away and that of the city's own library. But no one other than the Teen Titans would have any interest in the books there. While there are some fiction works, it is mostly home to texts in a multitude of different languages, articles on subjects that only the Titans would be interested in; for example: the psychology of criminal minds, the molecular design of different metals, the genes of certain animals, the novels of Gorthuma, or the spell books of Azarath.

. . . . .

It's been weeks. She doesn't know how many exactly, just that it's been a few. But the loneliness is wearing on her nerves, and she's read far, far too many books… And so she is driven out of her room and into the world.

She steps into the Common Room and is greeted by the cheerful trio with shouts and smiles. They talk at her, each voice trying to drown out the others, and she remembers how much she's missed them. It's been RobinRobinRobin for so long…

The thought forces her to ask. "Where's Robin?"

Their answer: "In the library."

. . . . .

Robin's research notes:

_Bond unbreakable; permanent (see Moons of Livrae pg 112 v4)_

_Able to block? YES! (Child of Trivial Means pg 328)_

_Meditation key; no way to be sure; lock door? What door?_

_Different bonds: mental, physical, empathic – which is ours = combination? (The Tyreldrie?)_

_Genetic; possibly passed down to children; never proven (Chillen Theory no. 6)_

_Kistiern bonds amplify emotions already present; joining the two – us?_

_Trigon + human = out of control emotions. Why Raven can't allow herself to feel express emotions – overwhelm her. My emotions + hers = too much._

_If Kistiern bond, too dangerous to explore._

. . . . .

It takes a couple of days before she gathers the courage to hunt him down. It is surprisingly easy – she follows the tugging on her heart. He's sitting at a desk in the middle of the library, a computer at his right side, surrounded by books she was read while on Azarath.

She watches him for a long few minutes, knowing he is aware of her, but consciously choosing to ignore her. Finally she asks, "What are you doing?"

"Fixing things," he answers shortly.

"How?" It seems impossible.

He twists to face her, his expression annoyed. "I don't know yet."

. . . . .

She leaves him to it. Instead, she tries to integrate herself into the team again, with pleasant results. Everyone, it seems, has been hurting from the craziness this bond has caused them. She meditates too, with Starfire humming in her ear. Even Beast Boy and Cyborg respect this and she is rarely interrupted.

But it is not perfect. Robin has disappeared again, determined to work a miracle. She does what she can to help him: she keeps herself calm and detached, leaves him alone, answers the few questions he poses for her. And she meditates, because that's what Raven does.

. . . . .

She watches the dawn, feeling the hope the returned sun always brings her. Her heart is warming, her guts twisting, and she knows he is coming. Coming for her.

When he stands by her side she doesn't speak. Instead, she focuses on keeping her breaths even as the scant inches between their arms suddenly feel miles apart. It has been so long since they have stood like this, completely alone, without trying to get closer. Now, they are struggling to maintain any semblance of peace they can.

He takes a slow, deep breath. "We have to separate," he says softly.

**- To Be Continued -**


	10. i'll fall when you leave

**i'll fall when you leave**

He calls a team meeting, sits them down on the couch in the Common Room, stands before them straight and tall. They watch him, expectant and trusting, completely unprepared for the bomb he's about to drop.

"We need a new team," he begins, guilt churning with nerves. "Up north, near Long City." He takes a deep breath, determined not to look at Raven. "I've sent out a call for any volunteers, and once five have come forward, I'll be leaving for awhile; get them sorted out."

There. That was actually rational.

"For how long?" Cyborg asks.

"Six months," he replies.

. . . . .

As a general rule, Robin can fit five uniforms in his knapsack, plus any other essentials. It usually only takes him fifteen minutes to pack, and then he's ready.

But Raven is distracting him, draining his focus.

You shouldn't have to leave; it shouldn't be you; do you really think this will work; what am I supposed to do without you?

"Shut up," he mutters, not sure who he's speaking to. Their minds are so melded together he can't distinguish their respective voices. For all he knows, he's talking to himself.

"There's no other choice," he emphasizes. Because there isn't.

. . . . .

All the preparations are made; the new team is waiting. It's just a matter of saying goodbye.

Cyborg is first, giving him a strong handshake and a pat on the shoulder. Beast Boy receives a hair ruffle and a promise to call at least three times a week. Starfire nearly crushes his bones and tears slightly even as she fakes a smile.

Raven merely looks at him, observes the readiness of his face. She nods to him, too afraid to touch him. "Good luck."

She can feel his disappointment. "You too," he says simply.

And then he's gone, leaving them.

. . . . .

Month one is filled with meetings, training, construction, fighting, refereeing, and observing the new team's interactions. This leaves him absolutely no time to even think about himself. Kid Flash lives to torment Gnarrk; Hot Spot and Jinx are always shouting at each other; and Kole is so busy gawking at civilization that he spends half of his time keeping her safe.

Then there's building the Tower, which is impossible because Gnarrk scared off the construction company, so Robin spends his days trying to fix things; and a thousand other problems arise every day.

He doesn't have time to miss them.

. . . . .

The second month challenges their creativity. She joins them for breakfast, insults Beast Boy's tenacious refusal to try real food. Cyborg takes it upon himself to teach her and Starfire how to cook, with a green squirrel chattering angrily from Starfire's shoulder. Beast Boy asks for her help in organizing a city-wide boycott of the zoo (she manages to talk him out of it). Starfire teaches them a Tamaranian dance, which is the worst idea she's ever had. Raven tells stories before they retire and the others always argue over the ending.

It's their way of coping with his absence.

. . . . .

Things aren't much better by the third month. They just aren't the same.

They all respect him (hell, Kid Flash and Hot Spot even _like_ him), but they are not his friends. Gnarrk can't cook, Kid Flash's jokes are actually _funny_, Kole doesn't hug anyone but Gnarrk, Hot Spot sucks at video games, and Jinx doesn't have the patience for chess. It makes him very lonely and he spends a lot of time alone, watching the others find their own team equilibrium.

He supposes that this is a good thing, but it only serves to make him long for home.

. . . . .

"…Then Cyborg was like, GA-ZAAP!"

Raven's eavesdropping from the kitchen counter, praying no one will notice her.

"Was anybody hurt?" Robin asks. Raven smiles behind her book. She has missed his voice, and it's good to know that he hasn't changed.

"No!" Beast Boy scoffs. "Don't be such a drag, Rob!"

"Sorry," he apologizes, amusement filling his voice.

"Hey, Raven's here!" Beast Boy says, and her head snaps up. "Did you want to talk to her?"

She looks over at Robin's face on the screen.

"Atually, I've got to go; maybe next time." And Robin's visual flickers out of existence.

. . . . .

"Hey, boss!"

Robin drops the pizza slice into the box, feeling slightly ashamed of his laziness. "Hey, Flash."

Kid Flash's head appears over his right shoulder. "Did you want to join us for the movie?"

Robin shakes his head slowly. "No, thanks."

There's a two-second pause, equivalent to a minute Flash-time. "Why so glum, chum?" Kid Flash asks, zipping over to sit before him.

"Nothing," he answers. He's not quite sure how to put it into words.

Kid Flash is peering. "Are you homesick?"

He thinks of home, of Raven. "Yeah," he whispers, dropping his gaze. "You could say that."

. . . . .

She's sitting, watching Cyborg tinker with the T-Car. She has long since abandoned her meditation, content to just watch him.

"Only nine more days 'till Rob's home," he says suddenly, wiping his hands on a cloth.

She nods, already knowing this. She's been counting the days down for weeks.

"Uh…" He looks very uncertain, shifting slightly. "Are, uh… are you and Robin okay?"

She wonders what, exactly, he means by this. She still loves Robin, knows that he loves her, but that they can't ever be together. And yet, they can never leave the other's side.

She shrugs. "Who knows?"

. . . . .

She's aware of him the moment he enters the Tower's garage. It's not accompanied with a bubbling joy or deep-set relief, but a simple awareness that strikes her sharper than the others do. There is distance between them, and with that, rationality.

When he appears in the doorway, she doesn't reach out to touch him. She sits and waits. He doesn't reach out either, which is a relief. This is what they need. They have to learn how to stand on their own, without needing the other, but always ready to help if called.

This, this idea seems much healthier.

**- To Be Concluded - **


	11. epilogue: look all around you

**A/N:** And, ladies and gentlemen; that is that.

* * *

**epilogue: **

**look all around you (it will be me)**

Her touch is cold, seeping past his skin and into his veins, sweeping through the interior of his body, cleansing it with her magic. With every beat of his heart (steadying itself thanks to her healing abilities) he can feel his pain drain away, being absorbed into her magic. His mind clears and sharpens even as he falls heavily into the mattress, exhausted. Slowly, it exits him, inch by inch, leaving him empty but whole in body.

He stares up at the ceiling, grateful that his mask hides his weary eyes. "Verdict, doctor?" he asks, his voice casual. Another façade.

Her hands leave his chest (he can still feel their imprint). "You'll live," she says drily.

He turns his head and scans Raven: her tired eyes, blank face, slouched shoulders.

"Thanks," he mutters. There's an awkward pause. "Sorry," he adds.

She rolls her eyes and walks way; his eyes follow her. "For what? For getting beat up to the point where you're suffering from internal bleeding?"

"…Yeah."

She scoffs, wiping her hands on a cloth. "We all knew stuff would happen when Nightwing appeared. Everyone wants to try him out."

Nightwing cringes at the memories. "Yeah. Guess so."

She shakes her head. "Get some rest. And be more careful next time."

His eyes roll. "Yes, _Mom_."

"And show some respect." She shoots him a dark look.

He struggles through the pain and manages to sit up by supporting himself on his elbows. "Raven?"

She eyes him.

"Thanks," he says. "Seriously."

. . . . .

She is decked in white; her hair perfectly combed, a blush in her cheeks. She is glowing, composed and shining so bright it nearly hurts the eye to stare.

This is her reflection, ready and waiting serenely for this day's events. In reality her stomach is twisting, her heart is pounding, and there's this little voice in her mind whispering, "Are you sure; are you sure; are you sure?"

This voice is inarguably tied to the man leaning against the doorway, striking in his tuxedo. His face is calm, but his eyes are tight and his emotions are tangled and knotted.

She knows exactly how he feels, not so much because she's an empath but because she was standing in his shoes just eight months earlier.

"You feel funny," she remarks, hoping to calm him. She's happy. She really is. She's just nervous.

She's still staring at the mirror so she can see his reflection standing behind hers. She watches as his mouth curls. "How am I supposed to feel?" he asks. "I'm giving you away."

She turns to face the real him. "I can ask Victor, you know."

His frown deepens. "Don't you dare," he mutters, straightening. He walks over and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I want to do this," he whispers.

She can feel his loneliness well up inside her. "I'm not leaving you," she says, repeating the same words he had said to her on his wedding day.

He nods. "I know."

. . . . .

"Dad?"

He looks down and smiles at the boy locked onto his hand. "Yeah?"

"Are we there yet?"

Grinning, 'Dad' answers, "Almost. Are you excited?"

His son smiles. "Yeah!"

He's finally found the door, and it's mostly closed. He squats down and hushes his son. "Shh. She may be sleeping."

The blue eyes grow wide as he nods.

Standing, the man swings the door open and peers inside. Seeing the new mother, he smiles. "Hey, Raven."

She smiles, tired but pleased. "Come in, Dick."

Dick looks down at his son and pulls him in. "Come on," he urges.

Raven raises an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?" she directs at the boy.

He flushes and ducks his head. "I wanna see the baby," he mumbles.

She sighs then leans over to the bassinette by her bed. "She was asleep," she mumbles.

"We can come back-"

"Sit," Raven commands, interrupting Dick. "It's fine."

Dick picks up his son and sets him on the bed before sitting himself. Raven returns, a bundle in her arms. "Here."

The boy stares at the baby's perfectly formed features. "She's so tiny!"

"She's beautiful," Dick whispers, and the adults share a smile.

"Hi," the boy whispers, and they look over to see the baby staring up at the boy. Something deep inside them shifts and they can almost _see_ the magic surrounding the two.

"Dick!" she gasps because her baby is smiling up at his son and that is not realistically possible.

Dick's son smiles back.

. . . . .

They are dancing; her dress swishing round her ankles, him stepping with inherited grace, leading her across the floor. They are both smiling, so happy in their own newly-wedding bliss.

"We did good," Dick mutters, and Raven smiles, unwilling to look away from the couple.

"I don't remember you raising my daughter," she remarks, feeling smart.

Dick bumps her gently. "You know what I mean."

She nods. She does.

They fall quiet, the two introverts content to stand on the sidelines and watch the wedding reception. Occasionally people wave to them and they nod back because as father of the groom and mother of the bride they have to be polite to their many, many guests.

"Well, it's about time," Victor Stone booms, swinging an arm around Raven's shoulders.

"_I_ called it ten years ago!" Garfield Logan boasts.

Raven and Dick share a look, remembering that day in the hospital twenty-one years ago. "Impressive," Raven drones, glancing back at Garfield.

Kory Anders steps up to Dick and sighs. "They look happy."

Dick looks over and hugs her around the waist. "Really happy," he whispers.

Garfield suddenly grows serious and mumbles something.

Raven shoots him a look. "What was that?"

He ducks his head. "I was just thinking…" and as he speaks he looks over at the new couple, "it's like history's trying to right itself."

At everyone's curious expressions, he shrugs. "Dick and Raven couldn't make it, so their kids did instead."

And that idea is both terrifying and wonderful.

**- The End -**


	12. Credits

**Credits**

First of all, I'd like to thank all of you who reviewed/faved this story! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!

Now, **Song****s**:

Title: "Make Damn Sure" - Taking Back Sunday

Ch.1: "Colorblind" - Counting Crows

Ch.2: "Lucky" - Jason Mraz & Colbie Calliat

Ch.3: "Something Inside" - Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Ch.4: "Glitter in the Air" - Pink

Ch.5: "Crash Into Me" - Dave Matthews Band

Ch.6: "Sound of Pulling Heaven Down" - Blue October

Ch.7: "Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" - Brand New

Ch.8: "Okay, I Believe You (But My Tommy Gun Don't)" - Brand New

Ch.9: "Mockingbird" - Rob Thomas

Ch.10: "Possibility" - Lykke Li

Epilogue: "It Will Be Me" - Melissa Etheridge

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

**THE EXPLANATION!**

So, this whole idea really started last April (I know, I know), where I wrote this mini-explanation of Robin&Raven's bond on a bus on our way to Paris (long story). I showed it to my sister who said, "This sounds romantic."

Well, oops. As a rabid R/S shipper, this was a problem. So I tossed the whole idea and decided to refrain from going over to the dark side (this is, of course, a matter of opinion).

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this epic Teen Titans series I had planned (which, it would seem, will only ever exist in my head) had some serious problems. The biggest one being that the bond I've always perceived Robin and Raven sharing is the kind of bond that, well, ends with the two in love. See, for example, Lelila's _Falling_ series or Kryalla Orchird's series, both which are amazing, but both have Robin and Starfire sharing that kind of bond which ultimately leads them to be inseperable.

So, now what? Well, then I figured, how WOULD this kind of bond work out? And, well, you see the result. The truth of the matter is, it's just too intense for these two private introverts (which may be repetitious, but whatever). Combine Robin's insane passion (and no can argue that that boy is passionate - just look at Apprentice/Masks/Haunted/Beast-Within/any-other-episode) with Raven's inability to properly express emotions, due to reasons beyond her control... We end up with a lot of pain. As you all see.

And that's really that. Perhaps if I was a rabid R/R shipper I could come up with a way for the two to be together. But I honestly think it's only going to hurt. It's not a very healthy relationship. Neither of them are very good at relationships and they both need someone who's far more willing to try. Whoever that is is your decision; I have my opinion but it's not very important to this story.

And, really, if anyone has a problem with Raven and Robin's kids getting together, you will have to get over it. Because I love these two together. I didn't really give much information on them in case I use them again, but I ADORE these two. They are so perfect.

Once again to you all, thank you so much. I wouldn't expect another R/R from me as I actually have some Gilmore Girls I want to write and some RobinStar I want to write, but you never know. The dark side isn't near as bad as I thought it would be and is actually quite addictive. But maybe we can blame those blasted cookies for that.

-Eve Royal


End file.
